i GUESS THIS POST WILL HAVE A LOT MORE AUDIENCE THEN MY PREVIOUS SELF-INDULGING POST

Long story short, one of my best friend got married a year ago (and really I knew it only by YM, so quit asking me pics n all), and in our recent gathering, all 4 of us got to shot him with various questions that we all bachelors are curious about..

my friend is an alumni from both the widely-known Al-AMin religious School, and a former student in MRSM Jasin. SO expect a fiery and deep engraving answer from him.

For the sake of directly-quoting him, and to reach a wider audience, I will post this topic in BAHASA MELAYU.

Soalan : Apa yang dicari pada seorang wanita ??

Jawapan : Bak kata Rasulullah s.a.w (hadis la tu), pilihlah seorang wanita tu berdasarkan 4 perkara : Cantiknya, Hartanya, Keturunannya, Agamanya...tapi kalo nak selamat..pilihlah atas dasar Agamanya, nescaya bahgialah hidup kita hendaknya

Soalan : CAmne nak define "Cantik" tue?

Jawapan : "cantik" tu "bila kita pandang wajahnya..tenang je hati"...yg penting hati kita yang tenang...bukannya cantik melampau sampai org lain yang tenung dia..kang org lain tenang, kita plak gundah-gulana

Soalan : Apa pendapat ko tentang kawin tak se"kufu" expecially dari aspek harta ni. Yelah mana tau gaji bini kita lagi tinggi dari kita kan

Jawapan: Slalu orang cakap, kalo nak kawin, kita kene "kukuhkan dulu ekonomi" kita...tapi sejauh mana "ekonomi tu kukuh"???sampai ada umah? kereta? gaji beribu?
bende ni jawapannya agak kompleks sket.
Sebagai contoh, kita slalu dengar org cakap "ko ni keje x bagus, gaji sket, ko nak bagi anak bini makan apa?? pasir???"
Aku tanya orang2 ni balik la...pernah tak ko dengar org kawin pastu makan pasir??? takde kan??

Kita kene faham, bahawa yang "bagi makan anak bini kita bukannya suami, tapi Allah S.W.T". Jadi jangan risau sangat tentang situasi ekonomi kita, either pre- or post-marriage.

Macammanapun, ada certain bende yg kita kene acknowledge. The most popular theme is about "nafkah harta isteri" dan "status isteri yang bekerja".
Kita kene faham pertamanya, suami yang bertanggungjawab memberi nafkah kepada isteri, dan sementelahan itu, suami tidak ada hak kepada sedikitpun harta isteri yang diperolehnya sendiri melalui kerjanya.
Tapi, dalam realiti sekarang, tidak berkongsi beban bersama dari aspek ekonomi, boleh membawa masalah dalam pembinaan rumahtangga.
Maka dari aspek ini, hendaklah bakal suami berbincanng dengan bakal isteri sebelum mengikat tali perkahwinan, biar jelas, biar clear, sama ada isteri sanggup utk berkongsi hartanya.
Isteri pula mestilah sentiasa ingat, biarpun dia tiada tanggungjawab langsung dalam menanggung beban ekonomi ini, tapi "isteri yang dapat menyenangkan hati suami itu diberkati Allah hidupnya".

Soalan : Macam mana kalo mak bapaknya tak sukakan kita?

Jawapan: Ini berkaitan keturunan. Percayalah orang tua ni, kerasnya macam kerak nasik. Kalo kita pandai pujuk, insya Allah lembut hatinya. Kita kene faham, kita nak amik anak dia yang dia dah jaga bertahun2. Jadi pastilah sumer ibu bapa agak protective. Dalam hal ini kita bukan berundur, tapi sepatunya berasimilasi.

In the end of the day, kalo anak dia senang dengan kita, cukuplah tu...kita kawin dengan anak dia..bukan dengan mak bapak dia..

Soalan : Macam mana kalo perempuan ni baik, tapi keluarganya cam pelik2 sket dari aspek akhlak? haruskah kita berkahwin dgn anaknya?? atau jauhkan diri atas dasar keturunannya??

Jawapan: lihat itu dari aspek lain. Mungkin kedatangan kita (jika akhlak kita pun baik) boleh jadi "jalan keluar" atau panduan bagi ahli keluarganya. kan bagus begitu..

Soalan : Kalo kita tak baik? camne nak dapatkan isteri yang baik?

Jawapan: Kalo x sehebat Rasullullah, manakan dapat Siti Khadijah....percayalah, Allah jodohkan yang baik itu dengan yang baik juga....jadi mulakan dengan diri kita sendiri.
In the end of the day, kalo takut tak dapat carik isteri yang baik, jumpalah mana2 ustaz dan nyatakan hasrat anda utk mendirikan masjid. Insya-Allah, dia dapat membantu...ni cam match making gak la...

Soalan : Kenduri...besar ke kecik???simple? atau pernuh beriya?

Jawapan : Dalam hal ini, kita tekankan satu phrase "RAikanlah KELUARGA"
Kita perlu ingat, ini mungkin hari paling bermakna dalam hidup mak ayah kita. Biasanya nak buat besar2 ni orang tua lah...ikut lah seboleh mana hendaknya kemahuan mereke...raikan keinginan mereka..tapi kalo kita ada "batas sendiri, jangan pula melangkaunya". Bila berlaku hal ini, jangan ditentang hasrat ibu bapa, nanti tak manis pula..eloknya carik la jalan alternatif lain
(ie, kalo mak bapak beriya nak kugiran, cadangkan kepada mereka jemput kumpulan nasyid)



ada banyak lagi info2 dan nasihat menarik yang penulis dapati hasil perbincangan dan pemerhatian terhadap sahabat penulis yang seorang ini. Tapi nak memuatkan semuanya kat sini, ada sesetengahnya agak personal la plak...

jadi cukuplah ini sebagai garis panduan kasar kepada siapa yang dah berfikir2 nak berumahtangga tu

penulis lama lagi lah~.....

Plate on the Right side of Town Hall commemorating The Nansen Passport idea. (see post below)













Lepak2 di taman, menikmati bayu Scandinavia













The Oslo Fjord, menghadapi laut Baltik, Gulf of Finland, and the open North Atlantic Ocean.












Melepak di Main Street sambil menambah selera merenung orang2.













The "Rostig" (Parliament) of Oslo.

Oslo (and Norway) had the most sophisticated parliamentray system in the world during its early ages. Perhaps because of the high democracy value being uphold at that time, Alfred Nobel decided that the Norwegian Parliament should award the Nobel Peace prize.







The Nobel Peace Centre
















The Royal Palace in Oslo.
What did I say about it being simple?













The Sculpture Garden. Do I look like the statue above? (except being overweight?)




















The Town Hall

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I dont recall much about my short trip to Oslo. We never intended to make it short, but due to some scheduling problem, we decided to stay in Oslo less than 24 hours. YEs, with no lodging.

We arrived in the morning by bus from Stockholm. After storing our luggage in the Bus Terminal, we decided to walk around the Terminal for a bit. Its still a little early in the morning, so the city seems a little bit dead. We practically hang around 7-11 and chat with a nice Pakistani lady there for almost an hour before the tourist office nearby open.

Since we have only a few hours here, we decided to board the hop-on-hop-off bus. Obviously we got lost a little too many times finding the right spot for the bus stop, but like in other Nordic country, u just need to "looked lost" and some nice lady / guy will offer u help.

Our first destination is some Sculpture Park (The Vigeland Park). Its basically, a park...with lots lots of sculptures. I cant see what really special about this nudes sculpture, and some arbitary, yet obviously phallic -like statue. But then again, its art...and Im no art expert. I learnt that although the park consist of almost +1k statues, it took only a short time to be completed. Now, that will be impressing...

Then we head to the Main Street leading to the Royal Palace. The Royal Palace seems almost too simple, with clean, sleek design - unlike those founded in Stockholm. Not too harsh for me to say it looks like our District Hospital in Volgograd (if the Hospital is renovated to its best). So u get the pciture here..its small, have some roman pillars, and ...thats it.

The City Hall stand proudly in the centre of Oslo, with two big tigers statues guarding its entrance. Why tigers? see above.
On its right wall there's a metal plate commemorating Fridtjof Nansen, the founder of Nansen Passport.

The most inspiring thing in Oslo, is perhaps, the Nobel Peace Centre. There's a temporary exhibition being held there about city-slum. The view of usual people living in "slum" (read: setinggan) really left a deep impact in me. I mean, an 18 years old living under a bridge, said it his home and how it is sweet just like other people home, and he dream to be a doctor. Today, I cant never watch my dad's Indon worker without recalling that thought.
Anyway, the Nobel Peace Centre is more sophisticated and futuristic compared to Nobel Museum in Stockholm. Apart from all the Nobel Prizes, the Nobel Prizes for Peace is awarded here in Oslo, and is commissioned by a special committee from Norwegian Government. Why? u have to ask Alfred Nobel why he decide so in his famous will.
I spent half of my day in Oslo wandering around the Nobel Peace Centre, and touch and feel what it means to fight for world peace.

Later that day, meeting back with Sdar n all along the main street, we spent the rest of our evening eating Kebab, wandering around the small stall, picking overpriced souvenirs (with Tax-refund, that is) , and lastly, loitering by the bench checking out Nordic chicks and lads. Gorgeous. Period.

Just before we board our bus that night to our next and last destination, Copenhagen, we met with a pair of Philipinos ladies. They were leaving to Copenhagen as well, since they are now living / studying there. We have a nice chat n all, but we cant manage not to laugh when we saw the "kiasu" style that is all too synonym for South-East-Asians. Even before the bus door open, they had already lined up and urged us to line up as well so that "we can pick the nicest seat".
"Faster, faster..we must pick the nicest seat". They even save us our "nicest seat". So thank you very much.

We dont know how to say that in Tagalog.

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What can (or more correctly, cannot) u say about Stockholm?? The biggest capital in the biggest nation of all Scandinavian country???


The part 4 of Scandinox trip begin with the three of us (Malchik, Sdar and Me) -who had been in St Petersburg earlier, and travel to Helsinki, and then on a luxurious cruise ship to Stockholm-meeting up with the other two members of the trip (Yat n Haneep) whom earlier spent up their holidays in Sochi n Moscow.
I know it sounds like "THe Amazing Race"!! Isnt that brilliant!! we are criss-crosssing over the continent and made up a pact to see each other in a certain point on earth at a certain time and voila!!! its become reality!!!



Stockholm held up everything u ever wish in for a hip metropolitan. The size is managable, its located by the sea (Gulf of Finland), architecture n arts are simply riches, and most important for all (esp for Sdar), its the MILAN OF THE NORTH!!!



Sdar had a list of shopping spree to be done in Stockholm, and while I busying myself with the Tre Kronor Museum and The Royal Castle, I believe he couldnt wait to hit HnM, where its origin is in Stockholm itself.


Compared to Helsinki, Stockholm have more international air..i mean, u can see people from all over the world here that actually live n work here. There's middle eastern, asians, africans, etc. That however, had its minus, as a pure scandinavian behaviour seems quite dissipating. I mean, while in Helsinki people are more reserved, here people more friendly and u can actually pretend to get lost to start up a conversation, because Stockholmers will definitely go to u and offer u a help. So maybe its not a bad thing after all to have them mix up with other people :)


Being a major power in Scandinavia, u can see its impressive architecture and culture which had influenced most part of the Scandic region.

Anyway, I hate our hostel. I mean, its describe itself as a romantic on-a-boat-hostel decked by the Baltic Sea...but in real, its really an old boat being converted into a hostel. And while it wont do it much justice because I just rent in a dorm, but I believe the condition can be better as we had like one in Helsinki. And location arent that great either...its a little bit remote from the centre, and u need to walk like almost 1km to the nearest bus station. I dont really mind walking, but it really irritates when u walk in a rain by the Baltic Sea..its freaking cold!!


I think thats all about Stockholm im gonna write about. I can mumble more about places and etc, but I guess that will kill your passion to visit the great city!! you must go there and find it by yourself!!

"Most Lovable "City Ranking till this post is written: -
1. Helsinki (still topping I guess)
2. Stockholm
3. St Petersburg
4. Sochi

Recipe for Guantanamo-like treatment in Russia : -

1. Ensure that you are a citizen of some less known Asian country among Russian- Malaysia is a fine example.

2. An immigration officer who apparently know nothing about the concept of British Commonwealth and the EU visa-lifting for most Commonwealth Country

3. Crossing the Russian Border...

4. By land route....

5. To European country in the west...

6. In the middle of the night

A perfect recipe !!!!!!

After being treated like a suicide bomber in the Russian part of the border for almost half an hour, and being sneered by the Russian aboard our bus ( I guess they dont think that we can understand when they called us a "black-unlawful-monkey"). we actually past the Russian border into the land of midnight sun, Finland.

And what awaits us in Helsinki worth all the trouble.
A smiling, charming, good-looking, nonetheless alarmed Finland Immigration officer greet us. That smile really melt all the uneasiness I got from the previous border experience.


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Helsinki- the pearl of the Baltic Sea - is literally a pearl. With its dispersed small island, rich culture, and a border extending to the Arctic Circle, it really can offer much to its visitors.
Yet what I'm amazed of is mostly - the people.

Contrary to popular belief about Scandinavian, Finnish are actually friendly. I cant get enough help from bystanders who offering me way guides whenever I seem lost. I dont even have to ask. Just stand beside a bus stop with a map in hand - and they knew u need help :)

On a totally different point - I met a Canadian guy in St Petersburg earlier who happen to live in a same hostel with me. In a beautiful serendipity, we accidentally bumped onto each other in the centre of Helsinki. He kinda believed in lucks and charms, and insist that we exchange email so that we can keep in touch. I gave him mine, but I didnt keep his. So till now I;m still waiting for his first mail.

We tried the Finnish Sauna - and its totally, totally cool (or hot)...I cant stand there for more than 20 minutes, but its totally rejuvenating. I felt like a chicken being simmered.

And a lot2 of fish. Being in Scandinavia, it means our staple diet is varities of fish. Smoked Salmon, fried small fish, and whats not. Another bites of fish, and I think I can already breath underwater like they do.

This evening, we'll be leaving to Stockholm aboard the semi-luxurious Cruiser Ship, Viking Lines. More pics about it later. Until then...see you :)

Warm regards

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St Petersburg is soaring hot by the time I arrived there. Well, its summer after all.

Its really like what people said. St Petersburg is more European than Russian. Thats explained why most of international conference held by Russia is held in St Petersburg. U know, when u'r guest come, make sure u hoisted them into the best room u got, and banned them from entering ur cockroach-infested kitchen?? (The "kitchen" here is analagous to other Russian cities, esp volgograd : )

I would really love to talk about the places I visit, ..National Hermitage, Peterhoff, bla bla bla...but i think that will be too boring...so lets talk about other aspects that Russian backpackers rarely touch on - the people.

Like in other part of Russia, the Peterburgian love their city. To some extend they want to be known as Peterburgian, rather than Russian. They called their city "Peter", instead of its full name. They really messed up their biological clock when the "White night" arrived, the northern soltice - a phenomena when the sun never really sets ..and the whole night the sun is still shining..- thus the name. They had a fierce sense of culture and arts, but like their other compatriot, they lack the sense of humor.

and they really good at faking their Russian accent from emerging when they speak English. So u got a really messy mixed up of English with English-like accent but with accentuated "R" and the lack of proper stress point. They tend to say "cool" rather than "OK" (like my hostel manager used to say). I guess they find it cooler to say cool than the classic OK, or at least its their way of showing that US influence is now seeping slowly under the old blanket of USSR.

All in all, I'm impressed with St Petersburg - and with what the Russians can do when they really want to do it. The city is inspired by Peter 1 idea of building a city with European standard in Russia. Unfortunately, he's dead before he could forward that idea to Volgograd. Thus, St Petersburg remain the only Russian city with European like atmosphere.

Next destination- HELSINKI. Im going to cross the Russian border tonight by land route (bus). Its gonna be a nightmare trying to pass Russian immigration border, but I dont know yet how worse it could be. So lets just keep our fingers crossed :)

warm regards.

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At last, I found the mean and time to connect in my hectic schedule of summer travel

This summer, I've planned up my trip with a "S" theme...

that is..