I dont usually read , let alone trust horoscope .. but this one really suits the current situation I am. It's a little bit creepy, as if someone had been observing me all this time and is actually sending me a signal of what might be expected. Anyway, there's God, so He's the One been watching me all this time, and I succumbed to His Greatness for even letting me breath a single gasp of air every day.

A few days back, a friend of mine (rephrase " a best friend of mine") (wait, re-rephrase ..umm..I'm unable to explain what we are) , told me the same thing, that is "to keep the past in the past and chin up for the future". It should have been easy since I am in no position to indulge myself in the past that even I dislike to remember.
But it could be pretty much hard when people around you keep bugging you with the past, and occasionally they dragged you back into those dark, eerie period of your lifetime.

I would like very much to shout back at them to "LEAVE ME FUCKING ALONE!!" (does any of you realize that we can put the "F" word anywhere in a sentence and it just sound, full-of-sense) , so that I can actually get on with my life as a new person I longed to be.

But to think of it, maybe this is what I needed. To be reminded occasionally so I feel humble and small in front of Him, and to be reminded that life is too short for me to be repeating the same mistake again.

I wish I could undone what had happened, but that's not up to me. So if I had to sleep early and wake up in the middle of the night and ruined my circadian cycle just so that I can avoid people from being so judgmental ...then that is what I shall do..



Sometimes, it can be so lonely...


p/s: this emo crap is what you get when you indulge yourself to deep in the course of psychiatry alone in a middle of the night.